Can I say goodbye to you?
by poemtoahorse
Summary: Rachel receives her acceptance from NYADA, but why this seems to bother Quinn so much? Will Quinn have the guts to say what she is feeling?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **This is my first fanfic ever, so let me know if I can keep writing or not. English is not my main language, so it may have some grammar mistakes.

This is a one shot fic for now but I might as well continue if someone is interesting.

I do not own Glee or any of the characters as well as the songs. Enjoy :)

...

She has been waiting for this since she was 5 years old and learned which colleges were going to turn her into a Broadway star, and when that morning came, she was more than prepared to see that she was accepted on NYADA. The more Rachel Berry thing to do would be setting the alarm clock to 6 sharp, run downstairs and rip that envelope open but that Rachel Berry had to learn to not be so eager about things like that since she once fell off the stairs and almost broke her talent – nose.

When she gets downstairs, her daddy Hiram is almost jumping on his seat from excitement while her dad Leroy tries to calm down his husband. Then she sees it, a white medium envelope resting on the middle of the coffee table, suddenly she feels every cell in her body squirm in anxiety, she becomes very aware of how hard her heart is beating, this is her dream after all, this will change her life forever… She looks into her fathers eyes, smiles and opens the envelope. Her vision gets too blurry to read through it all, because the first sentence is "_You've been accepted into NYADA. Welcome, Rachel Barbra Berry". _Strong arms followed by "I knew it!" "They saw your talent, sweetheart!" make everything even more perfect for her.

It's predictable that as soon as she enters the hallways of Mckinley High, she would be with a giant grin on her face and run to the choir room to tell her friends – well, at least she can consider them as such now – the big news.

"Good morning, my dear friends from Glee Club and Mr. Schuester. As all of you know and appreciate, I have a really gifted voice that became this perfect after enduring hours of practice and a really thick routine of early mornings, enough hours of sleep and – "

"Rachel, can you get to the point?" Will says sounding already bored with Rachel's speech.

"Yes, Mr. Schuester. I've been accepted into NYADA!" Rachel says clapping her hands and grinning. A second after the news are broken, Kurt runs into the room breathless.

"I'm in! I'm in! I received NYADA'S letter today and – "

"Oh my sweet Barbra, I'm in too, Kurt!" Rachel says already hugging her best friend. Entering in NYADA is great but surely it wouldn't be this great without Kurt by her side, she knows that it's lonely at the top and she needs someone who understands it and reminds her of her past by her side. As soon as the rest of the club recovers from the shock, they all go to hug Rachel and Kurt that couldn't be happier, well except from one person, Quinn. It's not that the ex-head cheerleader is still a bitch that doesn't care about anything then tear people down, in fact it's the opposite, Quinn cares too much and because of that she is just shocked and glued on her sit with a knot on her stomach, a tight heart and tears burning behind her eyes.

"Mr. Schuester, may I?" Quinn asks gesturing to the door of the room. Schuester nods and Quinn gets up while everyone go back to their seats and as always, Rachel sits beside Finn who gives her a wet peck on the cheek. This makes Quinn feel like throwing up and suddenly her head is full of thoughts, feelings and images that she can't take right now.

She runs to the closest bathroom and locks herself in one of the stalls, then she starts crying until she is sobbing hard against the door. She isn't supposed to feeling like this, she has to be happy for her friends, right? But it's not like they are exactly her friends, Kurt never bothered her and he is nice to talk to, so she is happy for him getting to conquer his dream and Rachel… God, that girl. Why does this girl have so much effect on Quinn? She confuses the hell out of the blonde, because how come the person she always claimed to hate, be the person who mostly gets her and is always there for her even when she really doesn't want anyone around? Her walls feel like jelly every time Rachel is around and she doesn't have any other way then to open up for that small girl. She always says to herself that she doesn't need anyone, not even Rachel. But why knowing that Rachel will surely be leaving hurts so much and makes her want to cry her eyes out? Why knowing that she won't ever see the brunette again the way she does at school makes her feel all those feelings?

The next morning is even worse for Quinn because she knows that Rachel will come after her to ask if she is okay after yesterday's event, so she just hides every time the diva is around. Is between Math and Spanish classes and after seeing Rachel almost flying with happiness that she decides that at least, the brunette deserves to know that Quinn cares. When they are all in the choir room and Will says that Quinn is going to perform, it's not a surprise that the first person to stop talking to listen to her is Rachel. The band starts playing the intro as Quinn closes her eyes to sing.

"_Never can say goodbye, no no no no, I never can say goodbye."_ She opens her eyes and sees Rachel smiling, she turns her head to the rest of the club and start swaying. _"Even though the pain and heartache seem to follow me wherever I go, though I try, I try to hide my feelings, they always seem to show, then you try to say you're leaving me and I always have to say no…" _ On this part she looks at Rachel and can't stop the tears to form, because that's it, she can't say goodbye to the diva. It doesn't matter that she is going to Yale and only be some hours away from Rachel, because she doesn't have any excuses to go visit her, and besides, Rachel will always be busy with auditions, practices and never will have time for Quinn. _"Tell me why, is it so? Don't wanna let you go. I never can say goodbye, boy"_

What Rachel doesn't understand is why Quinn looks so heartbroken when she seemed fine at the beginning of the week, or why is she with tears on her eyes singing that song and looking to her but when their eyes meet, Quinn always looks away… She never saw such a pretty girl like Quinn, especially now when she is vulnerable, just like that one time on the bathroom at the prom… _"I keep thinking that our problems soon are all gonna work out, but there's that same unhappy feeling and there's that anguish, there's that doubt"_ Quinn sings smiling humorlessly _"It's that same old dizzy hang up"_ She locks eyes with Rachel and sings _"Can't live with you or without"_ then she looks away and whispers _"I never can say goodbye"._

With that, she runs out of the choir room, when she is halfway through the hallway, she hears a familiar voice.

"Quinn, wait!" Rachel shouts from the door of the choir room. Then Quinn stops but doesn't turn to face the diva.

"What do you want, Rachel?" Her voice is so cracked and low that is almost a whisper and if Rachel's hearing wasn't so focused on things, she would have missed it.

"What was that song about?"

"Why do you care so damn much about my life?" She answers turning and looking sharply at the diva and starts walking again.

"Don't walk away from me, Quinn, please… I care about you and you looked so vulnerable. I'm not going to pretend that I didn't see the way you looked at me while you were singing that song." Rachel starts to come closer to Quinn until she is two foot away from the blonde. "Why do you look so sad? You didn't tell me what is happening, I thought we were friends" then she looks at the floor with a sad, broken look.

Quinn looks at Rachel and says "I never said we were friends." Rachel's breath catches in her throat then Quinn continues " I never wanted to be just your friend, Rachel." With that the brunette looks up with a confused look and when she opens her mouth to say something, Quinn cuts her off "I kind of always knew why I didn't want to be just that for you, but I couldn't accept it, but when you told us that you got into NYADA… God, Rachel, it felt like something was breaking inside of me."

"But you guys always knew that I wanted to get into NYADA, you can't say that you were surprised by it… And it's not like I will forget the people from the glee club, I mean, Kurt will be my classmate on college and despite our constant bickering, I will call Mercedes once a month or as weird as that is, even Santana and – "

"But you won't remember me…" Quinn whispers in such broken voice that Rachel has never heard coming from the ex-cheerleader.

After some seconds of struggling and opening and closing her mouth, Rachel gives up trying to talk and the only thing she can say is "I – Quinn.. What- What do you mean? Of course that – "

"No, Rachel… You won't and you know it, you will be too busy to see me, you will be too focused on being a star that you already are… I wasted too much time trying to hide, accept my feelings for you and tearing you down." She looks Rachel deeply in the eyes and says letting out a breath "I'm not ready to say goodbye and see you leaving, Rachel… I'm not ready to let you go" and with that, a tear slides down Quinn's cheek.


	2. Chapter 2

I want to thank you all for the amazing reviews and adds on favorite story and story alerts. It really means a lot to me and as you guys asked, I decided to write more.

I hope you all enjoy and reviews are always important!

…

Laying on her bed, she is thinking about what happened on the hallway that morning. It's impossible that Quinn said that, right? This is the question that's been playing on her mind since she saw the blonde walking away and leaving. She wanted to chase after her, to ask what was that but she didn't know what to do, part of her was too shocked to even form words, the other wanted to chase Quinn and beg for answers and the last one wanted to give the blonde some time alone. She never was opposed to be in a relationship with a girl, after what they did for Santana, she was sure that if she weren't with Finn… Oh God, Finn. What was she supposed to do? It's not like she did something wrong to tell him or apologize, she doesn't even know what she is feeling now for God's sake! Be in a relationship with Quinn is not something that is going to happen, right? She never had feelings for the ex-cheerleader, of course there always was an intense tension between them whenever they were alone and talking to each other, but that doesn't mean anything… Why did she have to tell her those things right now when she is supposed to be happy because in some months she will be leaving Ohio forever as she always dreamed? But those months are not enough to ask Quinn all the questions she wants to, or to make a decision, if there is a decision to make. In fact, there isn't because she is with Finn and even if he doesn't want to go to New York with her, she won't let him or anyone hold her back but why does Quinn mean with "I'm not ready to let you go"? Would Quinn do something to hold her back when she was the one trying to send Rachel her way last year? She's afraid because she knows how Quinn can be obsessed with something she wants, but does she want Rachel? After feeling like she would go crazy, she decided to go downstairs and wait for her fathers while watching a movie, because really if she thinks about it any second more, she will definitely go crazy.

It's not that different for Quinn. The blonde is pacing back and forth at her room unable to be still and breathe properly. _That's why you were never allowed to say what you think, Fabray. You talk too much when someone lets you. What the hell were you thinking when you told Rachel those things that you don't even know if it's true? What were you thinking? That she would jump on you and tell that she has been in love with you all those years?_ She is too far gone in her thoughts to notice her mom standing at her door with a worried look. Judy was relieved when she saw that her daughter was being herself again, without all the craziness from the last months but seeing her like that brings back all the worries, and this time she chooses to let it go and let her daughter alone, because that's what a Fabray does, she is left alone to cope with everything.

After some hours, she could at least sit on her bed and that's when she decided to ignore Rachel, to not act on her feelings, because if she doesn't acknowledge them, they don't exist and that's what she is going to do.

The following day, Quinn didn't look at Rachel not even for a second, she started to ignore her like she always did over the past years and she was sure that the diva wouldn't chase her anymore or ask questions because when she is wearing her HBIC attitude, no one asks her anything and that morning something was different about her attitude because even Coach Sylvester didn't look her in the eyes nor cracked jokes. At the glee practice, she did what she does best, tear people down. She felt humiliated after putting her heart out to Rachel, she didn't know why though, she didn't know if she was expecting the brunette to do anything, at least at the beginning she wasn't but when she turned again to walk away and Rachel didn't follow her, she felt rejected once again because that's how it works for her, everybody leaves at the end but she wasn't prepared for Rachel to leave her when she was always the only one choosing to chase after her. For Quinn, is this or that, or the person acts like she or he is feeling right away or she doesn't wait for them to react at all at the end and that's what happened, so the easy way out is to forget that once she admitted a part of her feelings to Rachel and to forget about those feelings at all, if Rachel hasn't save her some weeks ago, she wouldn't ever been hurting this much, so she blame her for all the pain she is going through, like she always did because even if the diva was trying to help her, she always ended up hurting Quinn more that she can handle.

Seeing the way Quinn was behaving that morning, made Rachel furious, how dare she says all those things on the previous day, mess with her head and then act like nothing happened? She was furious because she was feeling pressured, confused and for the first time, she didn't sleep well because she couldn't shut her mind to sleep, not that her mind can shuts down all her thoughts, because well, she is Rachel Berry after all.

"Hey Rach, so my dad and Kurt's mom will be out for the day and Kurt is going to Blaine's , would you want to come over and spend the day watching those musicals or whatever Broadway thing you want to do?" Finn asked when he saw Rachel standing at her locker. He was glad that things finally worked out for them, and that she didn't seem like a crazy maniac anymore, well they got to the third base after all, so he was more than happy.

"Hello Finn. As much as I can use some time to distract myself from my thoughts, I will sadly refuse your offer… I have some things to do and with those things on my mind I wouldn't be able to pay attention to Barbra's perfect talent and that would surely be a sin, so I prefer to not let her down and watch her musicals when I'm feeling myself again. I see you later" She started to walk away leaving a confused Finn behind her.

She had to talk to Quinn, all those doubts and questions are driving her crazy and she is tired of people already questioning her sanity. So she didn't think twice when she saw Quinn standing at her locker and approached the blonde.

"Quinn." She said a little bit forceful, because if Quinn would behave this way around her, she wouldn't have any other choice than to keep herself together and strong for whatever may come. Quinn glanced at her and turned to her locker again.

"You know that you can ignore me as much as you want but I'll keep talking to you and I'd really appreciate if you wouldn't let me here talking alone because a conversation needs two people to join and I want to have one with you." Rachel said in one breath looking Quinn straight in the eyes even if she weren't looking at her.

"What do you want, man hands? Why aren't you with your giant boyfriend shoving down other people's throat how happy and in love the quarterback is with the freaky loser?" Quinn said giving Rachel the best icy glare she could manage and turning her back to Rachel and walking away. But Rachel followed her trying to keep with the blonde's pace.

"So that's how you are going to treat me again? After all we've been through, after thanking me for helping you when no one did and mainly, after what you said yesterday?" The brunette said keeping her voice low so no one could hear them but keeping it seriously so the blonde would take her that way.

"I don't know what you are talking about and back off; I don't want my clothes to stink because of you." It wasn't that difficult for Quinn to say those things, because she was used to treat the diva that way even though she hasn't been treating her like that for some months. She was hurt and when she is feeling like that her best defense is to attack who is responsible for that.

"Quinn, you have a lot of flaws but one thing I know is that you are not stupid. You know what I am talking about, so don't walk away and pretend that nothing happened because we both know that it did happen." The brunette said a little bit angrily because, seriously, that's how Quinn is going to act now? Like a coward who doesn't stick for the things she said when she was obviously feeling vulnerable enough to open herself?

"What do you want from me, Berry?" Quinn said turning abruptly and halting to a stop to face Rachel. God, what does this girl want from her? After letting her walk away, letting her go, what the hell did she want now?

"I have to ask you that as well, what do you want from me Quinn? Why did you tell me all those things? Why now? Please, tell me…" Rachel ended the sentence with a low voice, because really, she was lost, she didn't know what to do.

"Just let it go, Berry. I'm done with you, that's all you need to know" She locked eyes with Rachel hoping that the brunette would understand and just leave her alone.

"No, Quinn. You know that I'm not a quitter, I won't give up on you. I never did, so why would I do it now? Tonight I'm going to your house and you better answer everything that I have to ask you." With this she turned around leaving Quinn with her mouth open trying to process what she said.

If Quinn was thinking that she could get away with her attitude, she really didn't know Rachel well, because the diva won't let it go. She just can't.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: **This chapter is a little longer than the previous ones. I want to thank all of you who keep reading, reviewing and add the story to favourites, you guys are awesome!

__Oh, and the rate will change for M some time soon because of future references and situations.

Enjoy it and reviews are always welcome :D

**...**

_What the hell am I going to do if Rachel in fact shows up here? I'm not going to open the door, she will stand outside until she gives up and then I'm going to be free from her, yeah. _But deep inside, Quinn knew that Rachel is not one that gives up so easily, mainly when she seems so eager to know something. She is looking for answers but would Quinn give them to her? There are a lot of consequences if she puts everything on the line, what if Rachel doesn't want her? What if she says she is disgusted by what Quinn has to say? Maybe it's worth the risk, right? No. She will never be prepared for Rachel, she can practice speeches or make up lies but when she looks inside those brown eyes, she can't control what leaves her mouth so the only thing she can do now is wait on her living room trying to calm herself.

Rachel was waiting inside her car on Quinn's street; the knot on her stomach didn't want to go away, what was she doing there? Why does she have to be so curious and most of all, why does she want that much answers? She was bullied by Quinn but she forgave the blonde, because deep inside she knows that the cheerleader has a great and genuine heart but her family made her build a mask that she sometimes forgets to wear and those times are which Rachel likes the most, she always cave to reach her under this mask and she did, rarely but it was enough and those past days – before the confession on the hallway – made her see more often this lovely Quinn who smiles shyly when someone genuinely compliments her, playful that cracks jokes from time to time, sweet when she acknowledges Rachel among a lot of people… This Quinn makes Rachel forget and forgive all the past, because it's easy to be around her, she doesn't have to come up with things to fill the silence, they always have things to talk about or even – now friendly – discuss about or even if it's silent, it's a comfortable one because Rachel got the boy so she doesn't have to fight for him anymore and Quinn let Rachel grow inside her, she realized that boys weren't something worth fighting for. That's why Rachel needs answers, because she is confused right now, she doesn't know how to interpret Quinn's actions, words or now her silence and coldness. She then turned her car off and walked to the Fabray's front door, she knows that Judy is not at home, so it's safer to talk to Quinn.

As soon as the brunette rang the doorbell, Quinn stiffened on the couch, her heart raced and some stupid butterflies were flying on her stomach, things that she masked by saying to herself that it was because she was not happy to see the diva after all that happened, but deep inside she smiled to herself because Rachel now knows some of the truth and came to find answers, so maybe it wasn't that bad in the end. Who was she trying to fool? Of course it would be bad, and Rachel just went there to shove at Quinn's face how straight and happy her life is, she is just curious and wants Quinn to open up one more time to tear her down with her happy life and her annoying way to see the best in people just so then they start to trust her, or want to reach their dreams and fail because only Rachel is good enough to reach hers, everyone else is a failure and she always let it clear to everyone. When she tries to be someone's friend is only because she wants popularity, people to kiss the ground she walks by and this annoys the hell out of Quinn Fabray because Rachel Berry is like a curse and Quinn won't let herself be dragged by her into it again. And with this attitude, she got up and opened the door.

"Hi Quin – "

"Come in." Quinn said turning her back to the door and going back to the living room leaving a smiling and open mouthed Rachel on the doorstep. Which made the diva disappointed because after spending minutes recording how was lovely Quinn, be greeted by this cold, heartless Quinn, but she decided to act like nothing had happened just like all the other times and approached the blonde's living room. She never went to the Fabray mansion, yes she and Quinn were kind of friends but the blonde never let her this in inside her life, so she took all the time to look around and realized that all the pictures that she imagined once existed of Russell Fabray were gone, now there only were pictures of Quinn's sister Frannie, Quinn and Judy. There were a lot of with the three of them together, that she could tell were taken recently, one of Quinn dressed as a cheerio with a trophy was placed on the middle of the coffee table, placed above the fireplace were more pictures of Quinn and some of Frannie. Rachel never met Quinn's sister so she took a while looking at the picture, she was like Quinn, blonde hair, green eyes, normal body but she didn't know what it was, or the hazel eyes that Quinn has or the curls on her hair or simply this glow that seems to follow the blonde whenever she goes that makes her different and prettier than her sister. Well, Quinn is the prettiest girl that Rachel has ever met after all…

"Are you going to keep looking at my pictures all day or are you going to talk? Because if you didn't notice I have better things to do than waste my time with you" she heard Quinn groaning from somewhere behind her on the couch, Rachel quickly turned around and was met by the image of Quinn sitting on the couch with her back leaned on the back of the couch and with folded arms and annoyed face. Which made Rachel chuckle because she was amused by all the efforts Quinn was making to get her out of her house.

"What are you laughing at, man hands? Seriously, if you don't say what you came to do here, I'm going to get a broom and kick you out of my house." Quinn said even more annoyed because she was already feeling like a fool that Rachel was making fun of and on the back of her mind she could already hear people laughing and mocking her. She shifted on the couch to make this feeling go away, which it didn't and only made her want to slap – again – the tiny girl in front of her.

"I already told you what I wanted to do here, Quinn. I want answers." Rachel said smoothing down her shirt to sit on the edge of the coffee table so that way she was sitting across from Quinn, which made Quinn roll her eyes. Why the hell can't she sit on the couch or on any other seat like a freaking normal person?

"Do you ever listen to people? I told you to forget about everything that I told you, better, forget that I exist the same way as I'm doing with you. I said once and I'm going to say it again, you are so frustrating! Why can't you let something go when asked for? Why do you always have to approach people with this friendly attitude like you care about them? You don't care about anyone but yourself, can you please leave?" Quinn said almost shouting, she had a knot on her throat but she wouldn't cry mainly in front of Rachel, she just wanted to be left alone, she was happier when she didn't have anyone who claimed to 'care' about her so she didn't have to worry. She locked eyes with Rachel and suddenly she felt as if heat were streaming down her veins, her eyes felt like fire, her body was buzzing and for the first time, she was truly hating Rachel, hating her for all she made Quinn go through. If the brunette didn't want her boyfriend, the blonde would still be with Finn or any other stupid jock without a care in the world, she wouldn't give her baby to Rachel's mother, she wouldn't have enjoyed the glee club – okay, maybe this part she would have regretted because even if she doesn't say it much, she loves to perform – she wouldn't have to explain anything because there wouldn't be anything to explain. After Rachel appeared in her life, she saw that she was not good enough, that she might get all the boys or girls if she wants to but that's all, while Rachel's talent can drive the diva really far, can make her someone, because even if everyone seems to hate her sometimes, she always makes their heart melt after she opens her mouth to sing. Even people who doesn't know her and her – almost crazy – dedication to be a famous singer, knows that she will succeed. And Quinn hates her for that and hates her even more because she made Quinn want to be a better person, to go to New York with her and this is killing her, she is feeling like she never felt in her life or imagined that she would one day feel.

"Quinn, I know that you are upset about something but that doesn't give you the right to say that about me after all the things we went through and the times we shared together. You more than anyone knows that I care deeply about people, mainly about my friends, I can sometimes be blind and not notice that I'm hurting someone but I always go back and try to repair my mistakes. If you are upset with something don't take it out on me, I know that you don't mean it but anyway." Rachel said seriously because it's okay if Quinn is upset and it's not talking to her but take it all out on her when she didn't do anything is more than she can stand and she won't allow Quinn to do that.

"How do you know me? You want to be the wise one who thinks that knows everything about everyone, you are always trying to read me and you read me wrong! Who said to you that I don't mean to take it out on you? Who gave you the right to make assumptions of me when you don't know anything that is going on inside my head? So if you want to have a conversation or whatever, you have to stop doing that because you can't shove down people's throat that you are better than them, that's not cool and that's not something I will take from you." Quinn got up and started passing on the living room, she was growing impatient and she needed the brunette to leave, so as fast as they can finish this 'conversation' better for her.

"Okay, as you made very clear, you are busy so I'm going to go straight to the point and ask why you told me those things after you performed." Rachel stood as well and turned to face the blonde who couldn't stand still.

"Because I was caught up in the moment, I listened to the song on the previous night and thought it would be good to sing it, and when you came after me, the adrenaline was still running through my veins and the song still playing on my mind, so that's it. That's why." Quinn lied looking to the diva's nose because if she looked straightly into her eyes, she wouldn't be able to lie.

"You are lying." Stated Rachel calmly.

Quinn gasped and looked angrily at Rachel

"And here comes you again thinking that you know everything about me. Leave, I warned you." She said pointing towards the door.

Rachel looked at Quinn and at the door, she groaned internally. She wasn't assuming things, it was obvious that she was lying. She came to find true answers and not a poorly lie that Quinn made up in the moment.

"No, Quinn, wait…" Rachel reached for Quinn's wrist. Quinn looked down at her wrist and tried to stead her breathing, Rachel's hand was so soft and tiny… She seemed like a baby and now that she was close, she could breathe her essence, it was vanilla mixed with strawberry with a soft touch of mint which made Quinn have goosebumps all over her body, the diva's eyes were like magnets, like the south pole of a magnet and Quinn's the north pole, the caring way that Rachel was looking at her almost made Quinn forget about the hurt but as soon as she realized that, she pulled her wrist out of Rachel's grasp roughly.

"What do you want?" She shouted, feeling the blood running through her whole body, she couldn't take it anymore, the proximity they were, her essence, the way she was looking at her, her soft touch…

"I'm not judging you, I don't judge you for your feelings and I never did even when your actions were bad enough to people doubt your character. I just need to know and understand why, since when and how… I need answers for your treatment towards me, your hatred, insults and then later your caring, friendship. That's all I ask you, I don't need you kneeling and proclaiming your undying love for me, I don't even know if you love me. I just need to not be left in the dark. Please?" She asked with a pleading look, she just wants to know how this happened.

Quinn took a deep breath to calm herself down and went to the couch again and there she sat with her elbows leaning on her thighs and her face buried in her hands. Why was this so hard? Why can't she be free from this feeling?

"Okay, Berry. I'll tell you but if you open your mouth even to breathe, I swear to god that – "

"Okay, I'll shut up." Rachel said making herself comfortable on the seat at the other edge of the room, so that she would make the blonde comfortable enough to tell her everything she was feeling.

"I really hated you at the beginning; you were annoying, so full of yourself, you had an awful taste on clothes, you were always talking about how your talent would take you far while everyone wasn't going to make it out of Ohio, then you came with all your selfish attitude towards Finn knowing that he was my boyfriend and you weren't even ashamed that you were hitting on him in front of the whole school, you were making my life hard and every time I saw someone throwing a slushie on you I felt good about myself because you could hit on him, spend more time with him than I did but I'd always be at the top and you at the bottom. I never had a slushie throwed at me and you did every single day. You dragged me into the loser's club because I had to keep you away from my boyfriend and even when you found out that I was pregnant with his child you didn't stop chasing after him for God's sake!" by the time she said that, she was already standing, throwing her arms up and shouting at Rachel. "But no, you weren't happy with that situation so you had to humiliate me and tell him that Puck was the father. Okay, this part I don't blame you because as I said back then, you did what I didn't have the courage to do but god, Berry! Why couldn't you settle with the life you already had? You made me give my child to your mother, your damn mother! Someone who didn't even want you, who refused you! Then you went after Puck, after Finn again... You were ruining my life day by day, then you came trying to be my friend, you always succeeded when you wanted me to open up for you, to let you in and how did it end up? With me hurting more than I could think was ever possible, I started to look at you in a different way, you made me be myself around you, this dork that I never let anyone see. Why did you do it with me Rachel? Why were you so caring and lovely with me? Just for me start liking you? Wanting you to be mine? Just because then you could tell the whole school that the quarterback and the head cheerleader had fallen for you? Was that your damn freaking plan?" Quinn was shouting and tears were sliding down her face, she was so broken that she couldn't even hide it and across from her the diva was crying too which made Quinn angrier because she couldn't believe that Rachel was going to turn Quinn's hurt as her own, this wasn't about her, this was about Quinn and she didn't have the right to cry, not this time. "It worked Rachel, when you told everyone that you were accepted in NYADA, I just wanted to hide that letter and burn it so then you wouldn't be able to go, I wanted you to know how I felt because maybe you could consider it and take a chance on me but as I thought, in a moment that I was a coward and walked away, you didn't go after me, that time Berry you chose to ignore my feelings, to let me go and since that moment I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't feel that way about you anymore, that you don't deserve it, you are selfish. You just want people around you to make you feel powerful, and I won't become one of those people. Now I hate you, I hate you because I can't stop loving you and this kills me every second because I can't have you and I don't want to." She finished in a low voice and turned her back to Rachel.

Rachel didn't know how to feel after all of this, after seeing how hurt and broken Quinn was inside, she had to try and make the situation better for both of them because after knowing how Quinn really was, she couldn't go back to this Quinn.

"Quinn…" she called her almost in whisper. Quinn looked to her side but without looking at Rachel or turning to face her. "I'm sorry that you feel this way, I'm sorry for all the things I did to you. I'm sorry that I let you go, I just didn't know what to do… What do you want me to do? I can't break up with Finn, I love hi – "

"Go. Leave. Now" Quinn said in a voice that even she couldn't recognize. It was an emotionless voice, like she was dead inside, which wasn't at all a lie, because she was.

"Do you really want me to do that?" she asked with teary eyes and a broken voice. She couldn't believe that after years of struggle, when she finally could see inside of Quinn, everything would be throwed away. All the efforts for nothing, in fact, for something, for pain, hurt and hatred.

This time, Quinn looked at Rachel, she saw the teary eyes and through them she could see her reflection. The tears were now dry, her eyes swollen and red, her face was unrecognizable.

"Yes." She said with a neutral voice and stood there still until Rachel reached the door. The brunette looked once more at Quinn and the blonde was staring at the wall, the brunette sobbed and ran out of the house.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **Thank you guys for all the feedback I'm receiving! You are awesome!

This chapter is short because I kinda had a block and I couldn't write anymore. I planned for this fic be a one-shot so I don't have much ideas for the future, so if you guys have any suggestions and things you want to happen, just let me know :D

And I don't know how to write Sue Sylvester, so her part was really short and she almost didn't say anything, sorry for that.

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><p>The following weeks weren't any better to either of them. They kind of created an invisible wall and whenever – especially in group performances – their paths would cross, there was this wall somehow electrified that would keep them away. Rachel wasn't going to lie and say that she didn't try to talk to Quinn again, she would even promise to never again talk about what happened on the hallway or Quinn's house but of course, she didn't say a word towards Rachel.<p>

Quinn decided to join the Cheerios again, what better way to stay nonchalant about things than being a cheerleader again? Of course she wouldn't treat her fellow glee clubbers the way she used to because even if they weren't there for her when she was a little crazy, she knows that they were just selfish people but deep inside they had a heart and after all she went through she couldn't let her friends be tormented the way they used to be. Inside she was nervous because she didn't know if Coach Sylvester would accept her after all the things that happened in the past but she really wanted to have a mask to wear specially after open herself to that annoying girl, she just wasn't feeling safe anymore and she needed an excuse to ignore everyone who'd try speaking to her. When she reached Coach Sylvester's office, she took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Well well well, look what we have here…" the coach said sitting straight in her chair and failed trying to hide the sparkle in her eye when she saw Quinn Fabray coming after her, despite all that happened and the fact that she wouldn't ever admit it, she had a place in her heart for the blonde who always appeared with an idea to save them at a competition, or to bring all those little bitches together at least to perform and she kind of reminded her the young Sue, broken inside because of all the bullying her loved sister went through and the bullying she herself suffered.

"Good morning, coach. I wanted to ask you if I can rejoin the Cheerios again" Quinn said looking straight into the coach's eyes without hesitating.

"That club of freaks created by the gross butter haired Schuester isn't making you feel good as you always claimed to be? I always knew this day would come." She said with a smirk.

"Yes, it is. But I miss the power I had over the losers in this school but I won't quit the glee club if that's what you expect me to do. I tried my uniform last night and it still fits and it's a win-win anyway, you know that without me it's impossible to win any competition." Quinn finished sitting in the chair across from the coach already smirking inside because the coach knew she was right and would accept her in a heartbeat.

"You really still have that bitch inside of you, don't you blondie? Go put that uniform because honestly those grandma clothes look horrible on you."

"Okay, coach." Quinn said grinning and heading towards the door to put her uniform on.

When she putted it on, a shiver of pleasure ran down her spine, she didn't realize how much she missed being the head cheerleader until the moment she became one again. She tied her hair up in a ponytail, pushed the door open and watched the students parting like a sea in front of her. She couldn't stop the smirk on her face as she walked down the hallway, glaring at some of the students who didn't see her coming and still were in her way. She headed straight to the choir room, since her last class was the glee club meeting and when she entered the room, she had to bite her bottom lip to keep her from laughing when she saw all the mouths hanging open and a smirking Santana and smiling Brittany.

"Looks like blondie finally decided to embrace her bitchy self again. Welcome back" Santana said with a smile. She missed having her friend around to snap at those losers and call them names, she was happy that Quinn was back.

"Yes, sometimes you have to forget about hanging out with freaks and come back to the real world." She said harshly looking at Rachel who was looking at her with a disappointed look and then looking away. Quinn felt an unpleasant sensation on her stomach when she saw that look but just like other times, she ignored it and sat on a chair at the end of the room.

Rachel didn't know what to think anymore, how could Quinn go back to that her old self? Now it would be even harder to try reconnecting with her, if there existed a chance of Quinn talking to her before now it would have been killed by that uniform and she felt her heart tighten due to that fact.

Her days were a mess since that confession, she just couldn't look Finn in the eyes without feeling guilty and that confused her even more because she didn't do anything to cause this guilt, so why was she feeling that way? She kept missing his calls, not replying his texts and getting tired of all her boyfriend's cheesiness. She just couldn't stop thinking about everything Quinn said to her and how those words burned like fire inside her, she saw how much the blonde was hurting and she was the cause of it… She just wouldn't give up on Quinn, not yet, not until she completely fixed the blonde. That didn't mean they would be together, right? After all she didn't like the blonde that way but she could make Quinn feel safe enough to move on and find a boy or a girl who would really like her. This was Rachel Berry's next goal: fix Quinn all over again. She huffed at this thought because Quinn really seemed like a baby that it doesn't matter how much you pick his toy from the floor and give it to him again, he will throw it on the floor anyway.

So she had an idea.

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><p>"Hello Mercedes." The brunette ran to the door where Mercedes was already exiting.<p>

"Hi Rachel." She asked suspicious because really, why would Rachel be so cordial so suddenly?

"Quinn and I have an important work to prepare for our History class and unfortunately I forgot to ask her number and since you two were friends at the time she needs the most because of her pregnancy, I thought you could give it to me." She smiled.

"Hell to the no." She started walking again.

"Why, Mercedes? I'm being truthfully about my intentions, and you know how I am when it comes to homeworks, please."

Mercedes definitely knew how annoying the brunette could be when it came to school activities, she had gone through it.

"Okay, I believe you but don't piss my girl more than you already does." She warned Rachel before telling her the number.

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><p>At night after her night routine, Rachel still had an hour left before sleep, so she grabbed her phone and texted Quinn.<p>

**Goodnight, my friend Quinn.** No, Quinn wouldn't ever reply to that, she erased and sent a simple

**[21:00] Hi.**

On the other neighborhood, Quinn was drying her hair when her phone vibrated on her nightstand, she found it weird since no one used to text her besides Santana and Brittany and she knew her friends probably were on a date. When she clicked to open the text, she didn't recognize the number and she even thought about ignoring it but if this person had Quinn Fabray's number, she or her certainly was someone important, Quinn thought.

_[21:02] Who is it?_

The reply came in less than a minute.

**[21:02] Is it really important?**

Quinn started losing her patience, who was this smartass trying to be mysterious?

_[21:04] I asked who is it. I'm won't waste my precious time with someone like you._

Rachel sure wasn't expecting Quinn to know who it was, she thought that it was a natural thing to answer a text and see where it goes. Definitely she should get used to text.

**[21:05] Let's just say that I am someone who fondly appreciates and respects you.**

Quinn started to tremble. No, there's no way the midget got the nerves to text her.

_[21:06] I'll stop you right there, Berry. Leave. Me. Alone._

Rachel gasped at her phone, how could Quinn know it was her? No, of course she didn't know.

**[21:08] I'm not this Berry. Who made you think that?**

_[21:13] Well, she is the only person I know that talks like that and who would reply to a text in a minute since no one wants to talk to her._

Rachel's heart hurt with this fact, because she knew that it was true even if she had friends now, sometimes they would forget about her.

**[21:15] No, I'm not her. You know me though, I'm just making sure that you are okay…**

Quinn's – not so strong – sixth sense told her to stop talking with this stalker, but she was curious and she wanted to find out who this person is.

_[21:17] That's none of your business, and if you said that I know you and you know me, you should stop right there. I don't waste my time with some stupid mysterious thing._

**[21:18] I see that you're being kind of alone those days…**

Rachel really had to suppress the urge to use her vast vocabulary, she couldn't give away who she was to Quinn, at least not yet.

_[21:20] God, you really are a stalker isn't you? I already said this is none of you damn business._

She was terrified now, what if this person was really a stalker? She looked out her window, closed it and locked her door. Just in case.

**[21:21] I'm sorry, I didn't mean to invade your privacy. I just want you to know that there are people out there who care about you. I don't think you should shut them off.**

_[21:22] I'm perfectly fine, if this was what you wanted to know._

**[21:22] You always avoid the main subject, don't you? But it's okay… You just need a friend and I'm here if you want one**_. _**I should go to bed, at least now I'm glad knowing that you are 'okay'.**

Quinn really was clueless about who this person might be, the only name in her head was "Rachel Berry" but she thought the brunette could be annoying and all that, but she wasn't stupid and Quinn was pretty sure Rachel understood when she told her to never talk to her again.

_[21:25] You really are naïve if you think that I won't find out who you are._

And with that she turned off her phone, because really this was creeping her out.

On her bed, Rachel sighed contently, she hasn't made the blonde open up to her but at least she replied her every time. She wasn't stalking Quinn, she just had this stupid need to know that the blonde was okay, she had this need to protect her. Quinn could break with anything, and Rachel was the only one capable of picking up her pieces and put it together, and she told herself that it was due to this that her heart raced when she saw that Quinn replied her first text. If Quinn wouldn't let Rachel herself talk to her, maybe this was the only way to do it and maybe the blonde wouldn't ever have to know who her secret texter was, as long as she was fixed.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: **Hi guys! I'm sorry I took long to write this chapter, I just needed to put my thoughts into words and thanks for those who gave me some ideas.

Thanks for reading but if possible, review so I know what you are thinking about it, okay?

Enjoy!

Oh, and the text in bold are Rachel's, the ones in italics are Quinn's and the ones that are normal are Alice's.

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><p>Quinn was woken up by the sun on her face, it was almost 9am which she found pretty early to be up in a Saturday but she was feeling good that morning, so she decided to go for a walk and stop at a Starbucks to grab some coffee. After getting dressed, she left a note to her mom telling where she would go.<p>

Despite the hot sun, it was a windy day which made more pleasant to walk down the streets of Lima. After she knew, Quinn was running down the streets and feeling like a weight had be lifted from her shoulders, she didn't know why, maybe because that part of her memory who was haunting her from the past weeks finally decided to gave up due to how often Quinn decided to ignore it. She smiled to herself taking on the things on the street, like the birds singing on the trees, families with their babies – which made her heart ache a little when she thought about Beth – and she just smiled and ran towards the Starbucks to grab some coffee. When she entered, she realized that her outfit wasn't appropriate for the place because everyone was wearing casual clothes while she was wearing a black running shorts and black tank top which made her guns on fully display but made her quite glad with all the looks she was receiving. They made her think back at school, the glances and checking outs people used to give her, she was aware of her beauty because it was the only thing her father liked about her and on her punk phase, one of the main reasons was to be not so pretty, make people see that she was a lot more than that. With that thought her heart beat faster because Rachel was the one who told her that and made her believe it, realizing that she was thinking about her again, Quinn shook her head and went to the line.

When her turn came, the girl who worked there snapped her head up and her mouth was left open, Quinn smirked at the girl's reaction. Finally the girl shut her mouth, smiled and openly checked Quinn out.

"Good morning, what can I get you?" she asked smiling and with a tiny sparkle in her eyes.

"A caramel frappuccino, please." Quinn said smiling to the girl. She didn't know what, but something about the girl was interesting. The girl had long hair with soft curls at the end, her hair was a kind of dark red, her lips looked soft and was well shaped and a bit full in a good way. Her eyes were blue and it seemed that she was looking at a light the whole time because they shinned more than was usual to normal eyes. She couldn't take in the girl's body because of the counter between them but she was already really beautiful from what Quinn was seeing.

"What's your name?" The girl asked looking straight into Quinn's eyes.

"Quinn." She answered slowly. She wasn't even realizing what she was doing, it just felt nice and this girl had something that was drowning Quinn's attention.

Quinn paid her order and sat to wait. She watched the girl preparing her coffee and the way she was moving, with a confidence as if she knew someone was watching her. Quinn looked around and noticed that there were indeed other people looking at the girl which made Quinn uncomfortable because she didn't want to have the same look in her eyes as the others. After some minutes the girl called her name smiling, Quinn stood up and walked to the counter, but when she mentioned to grab her cup, the girl took it back with a smirk and put a paper on top of it before handing the cup to Quinn, who raised her eyebrow smirking. The girl didn't say anything, just winked and turned to go back to work.

Satisfied with how things turned out to her that morning, Quinn went back home with a delicious frappuccino and a phone number on her hand.

* * *

><p>After her morning routine, Rachel ate breakfast with her parents. She was rather quite that morning what worried them.<p>

"Baby girl?" Her father Hiram asked her when she finished her breakfast.

"Yes, daddy?" She said looking at her father. Hiram was the shorter and Jewish one, which she called daddy, while she called Leroy, a tall black man, dad.

"You are quiet this morning and you are never like that, usually you are full of energy." He said touching her hand across the table. His daughter looked so tired those past days, like she wasn't even paying attention at things around her.

"It's nothing, daddy. Just some problems with Quinn." She let out a tired sigh and looked down at the table.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Asked Leroy. Rachel noticed his concern tone but she didn't have anything to talk about, she didn't promise Quinn that she wasn't going to tell anyone but somehow she knew that it was a thing between them and until the blonde was hurting that way, she wouldn't tell anyone, it was a private thing.

"No, dad. I am afraid this is something I can't share with people, you are my parents, so I hope you'll understand it." She gave them a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "If you don't mind, I'm going to my room because I have to get dressed. Finn is going to pick my up" She finished when she saw the look in her fathers' eyes.

With that, she went upstairs and closed the door of the bedroom behind her. She had a little bathroom on her room, which in occasions like that, she was glad for. That way she could think properly in the safety of her room.

After almost half an hour, she got out of the shower, letting the fog spread around her room. She opened her closet and chose a plaid skirt and a white sweater. When she was drying her hair, she heard the doorbell ringing, her dad knocked softly on her door.

"Finn is here, honey."

"Thank you, dad. I'll be down in a minute." She said not at all excited for what the day would bring her. Her dad didn't miss the tone in his daughter's voice, he sighed and went downstairs. Something more was happening between his daughter and this girl Quinn.

After a minute, Rachel entered the living room and found her fathers and Finn in an awkward silence. She rolled her eyes and made her presence noticed.

"Hi Finn." She said putting her best smile even if it was a fake smile. Obviously Finn didn't notice but when she looked at her parents, they raised an eyebrow and mouthed "What was that?" she simply shrugged and let Finn peck her in the lips.

"Hey Rach!" He turned to her parents and said awkwardly "Hm, so... I think we should get going. Bye Mr. and Mr. Berry" He turned to Rachel and gave her a smile. She smiled back at him and headed towards the door.

"Bye, dad and daddy!" She waved at them before shutting the door.

"So, Finn. Where are we going?" She asked as soon as they were in his car.

"I was thinking we should watch a movie and then go out to eat something." He said smiling and a bit unsure.

"That's lovely." Rachel replied with a bit of sarcasm and looking out the window. This would be a really long day. She was just tired of doing the same things over and over again with Finn, she wanted to be surprised for a change. Was that much to ask?

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><p>After a day shopping with Brittany and Santana, Quinn was finally at home. She showered, changed into her pajamas and climbed to bed grabbing her iPod, her phone and the piece of paper that was on her nightstand.<p>

She flicked her phone open and sent a text to the number.

_[22:00] So, why did you give me your phone number?_

She put her earphones, closed her eyes and waited for the reply. Which didn't take that long to come, she felt her phone vibrate in her stomach and read the text.

[22:06] I thought you would ignore me, since you didn't text me earlier.

Quinn smiled and rolled her eyes playfully at the screen.

_[22:08] I was at the mall with a couple of friends. And it occurred me now that I don't know you name._

After a minute, she felt her phone vibrate again and was surprised to think that the girl replied her that fast. Smiling she grabbed her phone and opened the text.

**[22:07] Hi, Quinn.**

She stared at the screen for some minutes before remembering that this number was the same who texted her three days ago.

_[22:09] I thought you had gave up by now._

**[22:10] I was just giving you some time. How are you?**

When she was going to answer, she received another text.

[22:11] Alice. So, today when I saw you I wondered if you would like to go out sometime. I don't mean anything by that, I just think you are a interesting person to talk to. What do you say?

_[22:12] Thank you. Yes, Alice. I think we could go out someday... For what I've seen today, you seem to be a pretty interesting person as well._

When her phone vibrated on her nightstand, Rachel reached to read the text and she felt a knot in her stomach reading the words. Of course this text wasn't meant to her. She stared at the screen for some time, feeling her throat tightening and her vision going red.

**[22:15] I think your text wasn't meant to me, Quinn.**

She put her phone on her nightstand, turned the lights off and turned to face the wall. She didn't realize she was crying until she felt her pillow getting wet.

Quinn stared at the text for a while confused, them she remembered that with the two texts open, she didn't saw who she had replied. She sent the previous text to Alice and sent another to the mysterious person.

_[22:19] Yes, you are right. Sorry, I was talking to uh, a person. _

After that, she received a couple of more texts from Alice and agreed to meet her at the mall the next day. But what confused her the most was that this secret person stopped texting her after that incident, with a frown, she fell asleep.

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><p>Sunday morning came and Rachel was feeling like crap, she didn't know why she felt like that when she received that text from Quinn. Obviously, Quinn was flirting with some girl and just thinking about that made Rachel ill. Her head was throbbing and she just wanted to go back to sleep but she couldn't, her mind was racing for it to be possible.<p>

At night, Quinn came home from the mall feeling really good. She and Alice had a really good time there, and for her surprise Alice was smart and understood her in many aspects, but of course she was flirty too. But her flirting was so subtle that Quinn didn't feel uncomfortable at all. With that thought she fell easily asleep that night.

Rachel's day wasn't good, she texted a few times with Finn and spent the rest of the day watching musicals at her living room, with a ball full of vegan ice cream. Her fathers tried to cheer her up but they couldn't bring her daughter to smile not even once and when she did, it didn't reach her eyes.

That night, Rachel grabbed her journal and started writing:

"Hi journal, for a long time I don't write in you... When my life got so confused? I was so happy with my acceptation at NYADA, my relationship with Finn, my friendship with Kurt... Generally I'm not that depressed girl, in fact I'm quite cheerful and happy but since Quinn told me those things, I just can't stop thinking about it. That didn't get better when I got that wrong text from Quinn. If I can record and I have a really good memory, she wasn't willing to get into a relationship with a girl." She couldn't write anymore, she couldn't look at it anymore. She wanted to throw up, but why was bothering her that Quinn was moving on? Wasn't that what she wanted in the first place? She wanted Quinn to find someone who was willing to love her and let her love but now it just felt so wrong. She wanted to text Quinn but probably she wouldn't be appropriate, because from what she read, this Alice should be with Quinn by now. When the images of what they would be doing invaded Rachel's mind, she ran to the bathroom to throw up, she just couldn't stand it and she couldn't get why! She became to cry and sob so loud that her dad ran to her bedroom and found her curled up in a ball by the sink, breaking down at the bathroom floor. His heart broke in a million pieces and broke even more when he heard his daughter's voice.

"It's so hard, please make it stop, dad. Please." she said sobbing hard against his chest.

"Shhh, baby. It'll be okay, it'll be okay." He said crying as well.

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><p>At 6am that morning, Rachel woke up and noticed she wasn't alone in the bed, when she turned she saw her dad sleeping with her in the tiny bed. She recorded the previous night and snapped her hand against her mouth in horror. She let her dad see her breaking down and now she knew that he would want an explanation but what could she say?<p>

She got to her feet, went to the bathroom, got dressed and wait for Finn to pick her up for school.

* * *

><p>She shared the second period with Quinn and when she saw the girl entering the room with a smile, her heart stopped. Quinn seemed so... happy and relieved but of course this changed when she looked at Rachel, who ducked her head and looked away. Sometimes she caught herself looking at Quinn's direction and all those feelings when she got the wrong text from Quinn appeared again when she caught the blonde looking at her phone smiling and typing something.<p>

By the time the class was done, Rachel was the first to run out of the class, when she ran past Quinn towards the door, Quinn looked up and a frowned. Something was happening with Rachel... When she realized what she was thinking, Quinn shook her head and opened her phone.

* * *

><p>"Mr. Schue can I say something?" Asked Puck when the teacher was writing on the board.<p>

"Sure, Puckerman. Go ahead." The teacher said without turning to the class.

"I just wanted to ask you to come to my party. My mom is going to be out of town and I want to get some girls high in wine coolers." He said winking at Quinn.

"Shut up, Puck!" She snapped at him. He felt a little guilty but smirked when he saw the excitement on the group, well besides one person.

"Hey my hot Jew!" he said approaching Rachel, Finn stiffened at her side but she put a hand on his forearm to keep him calm.

"Hello, Noah." She smiled.

"You are coming to the Pucksaurus party, right?" He asked a little worried.

"I don't know, Noah... I'm not feeling really well lately and I think I should just stay home and enjoy the company of my parents" She said politely.

"No! You are coming, it will be fun, I promise! I won't let anything ruin it for you, please?" Puck even pouted a little at the end but stopped before someone could see it.

Rachel sighed and said "Okay, but I won't take long at the party."

"As long as you are there I'm happy." Puck said winking at her and going over to Quinn who waved her hand to get his attention.

"What's up, baby mama?" He asked sitting down in the chair beside her.

"I already told you to stop calling me like that, Noah." She said coldly to him.

He swallowed hard and tried again. "I'm sorry. So, what do you want?" He asked smirking at her and checking her out.

"Stop looking at me, pervert. I just wanted to ask if I can bring a... friend to your party."

"Yeah, sure, no problem." He said getting up.

Quinn opened her phone smiling and sent a text.

_[13:14] What do you say about a party tomorrow?_

[13:15] Tomorrow? But tomorrow is Tuesday, don't you have school the next day?

_[13:16] You're in or not?_

[13:18] Of course I'm in. ;)

Quinn blushed and when she looked at the class, she caught Rachel looking at her with a broken expression. She swallowed hard and looked away. Rachel shook her head and decided to pay attention to the class but her heart was aching too much to focus on anything.

* * *

><p>The party was full of people, not only the glee kids but some Cheerios, the football team and some people Rachel didn't even know. She had a couple of wine coolers and was feeling a little dizzy and... happy which was a strange feeling for her lately. She was dancing with Mercedes, Kurt, Blaine and Tina while Finn was talking about video games with Mike and Artie. Puck was making out with some random girl, Santana and Brittany had sneak out upstairs.<p>

But she couldn't help searching for Quinn every now and then or every time she saw the door opening. When the room was too hot, some people went to the basement, there it had speakers too and drinks, so the party was going on in two different places of the house.

When the door opened this time, it was Quinn. Rachel smiled when she saw the blonde wearing a black skinny jeans and a plaid shirt. Her heart raced and she blamed it on the alcohol but then she saw that Quinn wasn't alone, she saw a girl behind Quinn with her hands on her hips because the room was to crowded. Rachel's heart sank in her chest and suddenly she felt like she wasn't breathing properly because she needed more oxygen. Quinn approached the group where Rachel was, she smiled at everyone and just nodded towards Rachel but when the brunette opened her mouth to talk to Quinn, that other girl cleared her throat and Quinn laughed before introducing her.

"Guys, this is Alice. My friend." Quinn said that winking at Alice.

Rachel's breath got caught in her throat, she couldn't speak, she couldn't even move while everyone was dancing around her. She took the time to take a look at this Alice, she was wearing a blue skinny jeans and a strapless shirt. She had a really nice body and even with the shirt one could notice that this girl had abs, Rachel was just staring at them without being able to say anything. This was until Alice whispered something in Quinn's ear that made the blonde blush and nudge her playfully. After that Rachel suddenly realized that Alice went to get some drinks with the rest of the group which left only Rachel and Quinn standing awkwardly near a wall.

"Very good looking your friend." Said Rachel trying to hide her anger.

"What? Oh yeah, she is." Quinn said biting her lip and looking at Alice's direction.

"I'm glad you moved on, you know?" Rachel said looking down at the floor.

"You don't have to talk to me just because we are the only ones left here, Berry." Quinn said a bit coldly. She wasn't enjoying at all being near Rachel right now.

"I'm just finding it a bit fast due to all the feelings you said you felt for me." Rachel said a little bitterly. She was drunk so she had no filters at all and right now she was hurt.

"Don't." Quin snapped at her. "Don't talk about that. Why do you even bother, Berry? You are happy with Finn and I am with Alice!" Quinn looked away because she couldn't stand looking at Rachel right now that the diva reminded her about her feelings.

"Yes, I can see that. I am really glad for you and as I can see, you embraced your gay self, didn't you? That's funny because I thought the main reasons you hated liking me was because I am a girl but now I can see you don't have a problem with that." Rachel turned to walk away but Quinn grabbed her wrist and dragged her to an empty hallway.

"I'm going to stop you right here, RuPaul! You don't know a thing about me, you don't matter to me! Stop trying to talk to me, to bring this topic again. I'm tired of you!" Quinn was so furious now that she didn't notice that Rachel was pressed against the wall and one of her hands was still holding her wrist while the other was pressed against the wall just beside Rachel's head.

Rachel's heart was beating faster, her lips were parted and she couldn't breath properly.

"I know you, you know that." Rachel whispered, afraid that if she raised her voice, maybe Quinn would realize their positions.

"Stop." Quinn said almost pleading. Her head was down so Rachel couldn't see her face.

"Did you forget me, Quinn? Did you really move on?" Rachel whispered almost pleading.

"No, please... Don't ask me that." This time Quinn looked up and her eyes were so vulnerable that if Rachel tried enough, she could read Quinn's mind.

"Answer me, Quinn... I need to know, please." Rachel was almost in the verge of tears, her heart was beating fast with their proximity and anxiousness, she wanted Quinn to say that she didn't forget her but she was afraid of the consequences, if Quinn said that what would she do then? She couldn't make the blonde open up and break her again.

At the same time Quinn wanted to cry and run away, she was dizzy with how close she and Rachel were, she could feel the small girl's breaths, her eyes were running between her eyes and her lips who were parted, those full lips that Quinn wanted to kiss for a very long time, if she leaned just some inches, she could kiss her but what would that mean? Would she be able to open up to get hurt again? Without realizing she noticed she was leaning down, with a last glance to Rachel's eyes, she saw how the brunette was looking to her, how much affection she saw in them and suddenly it became too much for her and she answered.

"Yes." Quinn said looking into your eyes before turning around an walking away.

Rachel could only blink and tried going after the blonde but when she was at the living room again, she saw Quinn going towards Alice and grabbing her by the waist, spinning her around with one hand behind her neck and then Quinn kissed her. Quinn kissed like Rachel never saw her kissing anyone, not even Sam or Finn when they were together. Alice at the beginning was surprised but as soon as she realized that Quinn was kissing her, she kissed back. Hard. Alice began kissing her jaw and when she was kissing her neck, Quinn opened her eyes and looked at Rachel while digging her nails at the red-head girl's back . They locked eyes for a moment before Quinn pushed Alice back up and started kissing her again. Rachel couldn't take it anymore, she ran towards the door, opened it and ran through the streets, she didn't care if it was 3am and she was a tiny girl in the middle of the dark streets. She wasn't feeling numb just because her heart was hurting too much, it hurt in a way that she couldn't even breath, it was like her body was splitting in half. She didn't know where to run, she just kept going, feeling the cold air wiping her wet face due to the tears.

Suddenly she felt strong arms around her, stopping her from running anymore., she gasped in surprise and turned to see who it was, when she recognized the person, she buried her head against the person's chest and cried harder than she ever thought it would be possible.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Hi! I really am sorry for the late update but those weeks are crazy. I don't know if you guys realized but on the last episode of Glee it happened kinda of how I wrote here, with Quinn singing for Rachel (because seriously, that song was mainly for Rachel after their talk on the bathroom) and then Quinn saying that she got in Yale, everybody going to hug her and Rachel being the one glued on her chair with a sad face.

Anyway, as I warned you that some point I'd change the rating, here is the moment. I'm changing for language, some sexual occasions and for future events.

On Monday my classes will start again, so I'll only be able to update on weekends! Thank you for all the feedback and remember to review or suggest things, they are really helpful and keep me wanting to write more for you! This chapter is kinda short but it's better than to wait for another week.

Enjoy!

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><p>Puck didn't think twice when he saw Rachel running out of the party. He was in his way to get more drinks when he saw Quinn making out with her friend Alice, he just smirked with the image but when he turned his head a little, he saw a completely broken face watching the scene and the tears streaming down her face but before he could do anything, Rachel left and he decided to go after her, she seemed even smaller when she was like this and when he saw her running without destination, he chased after her.<p>

She didn't stop crying for what seemed like an hour, her heart seemed to be shattered to pieces but above all of this, she was crying because she wasn't supposed to feel this way! Not because Quinn is a girl but because she has a _boyfriend_, she has _Finn_ the boy she did anything to steal from Quinn, the lead man she always wanted, the high school love who with hard work could make on the streets of New York. The girl is _Quinn Fabray_, once president of the celibacy club, captain of the cheerios, christian girl, a girl who always treated her like shit and claimed to hater her. The same girl who confessed her love for the brunette a month ago.

That's why now she is laying in her bed with a note from Puck on her night stand. She got up and read it:

"_Hey, Rach. I brought you home last night, are you better? Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about yesterday but I think you need to talk, so you know, if you want something your jew is here._

_Call me when you wake up so then I won't think you died in your sleep or something._

_Puck."_

She smiled a little at Puck's note, why didn't he let anyone see his side of him? He saw why she was breaking down yesterday, and even if she didn't like much this idea, he was the only one who she could talk about her feelings right now... She reached for her phone and saw 5 missed calls and 2 texts, she clicked to open the texts first.

[02:30] Rach? Where are you? I already searched for you like the whole night and you are not here." this one was from Finn.

_[10:20] I'm sorry..._

When she read the last one, her heart stopped beating. No, this couldn't be... No, there's no way. She checked what time was: 10:30. She checked the name again. _Quinn._ This couldn't be happening, why would Quinn text her after last night? She was the one who made it pretty clear that she already moved on and by the looks she was giving her before, she didn't even want to be friends with Rachel. She was getting tired of all this, one day Quinn was super sweet to her, the other she is declaring her love for the diva, the next day she is throwing insults and ending every kind of relationship she has with Rachel, last night she was rubbing on Rachel's face that she is happy with Alice and on that morning she is apologizing. Rachel had to put an end on this, Quinn has to choose whether treat Rachel nicely or not talk to her at all.

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><p>She was laying on her bed with eyes closed when she felt something moving on the bed, she opened her eyes and her breath gt caught in her throat. She looked down her body and a thin sheet was covering her, she carefully lifted the sheet and saw her naked body. Her eyes widened and the body next to hers shifted again and she clearly could see the person's face. Alice. Naked too in her bed. Suddenly it was too hard for her to breathe, a panic attack was making its way up her body. She tried to think about the night before and she only could remember noises, than hot breath against her neck, moans, grips, sweat and clothes been ripped off. She put a hand against her mouth in shock, she had to get ride of Alice, she couldn't deal with it right now. Her first time with a girl, her first time after having sex with Puck and it wasn't the way she pictured it and surely it wasn't the girl she pictured it with. When she thought about that, a wave of guilt ran down her body and she felt as if she was cheating someone. No, not someone, Rachel. She searched for her phone and typed a quick text before waking Alice up, this would be a hard morning for her.<p>

"Hm... Alice?" She poked her on the shoulder. Alice just hummed softly but didn't wake up.

"Alice, you have to wake up." Quinn said firmly. Every more second this girl spent on her bed, made her heart tighten even more.

Alice opened her eyes and smile to Quinn.

"Good morning, beautiful." She smirked looking down to Quinn's chest. Quinn realized she wasn't under the sheets, and fast she pulled them up again.

"Oh, you don't have to hide them from me, baby. Last night you didn't have a problem with it." Alice said reaching out and cupping Quinn's breasts under the sheets. Quinn swallowed hard. This sensation was good but it didn't feel right, not with Alice.

"Please, stop..." She shifted so then Alice's hand fell on the bed. "You need to leave."

"Why, Quinn? What's going on?" She asked concerned.

"Last night was a mistake, it can't happen again. I really need to be alone now. Please, if you really care about me the way you are showing since we met. Leave me alone now." Quinn said facing the wall.

"Okay, I think you need some time." Alice said getting up and searching for her clothes. When she was fully clothed, she walked to the door and stopped before leaving. "Bye, Quinn. Text me or call me, okay?" Quinn only nodded and Alice was gone.

As soon as she heard the door being closed, she started to cry and by the time she was sobbing, she decided to talk a shower. After crying herself out on the shower, she put some warm clothes and went downstairs to eat something. When she reached the kitchen her mom was sitting on the table drinking coffee.

"Good morning, Quinnie! Your friend left some minutes ago." Judy said and Quinn realized that her mom didn't have a clue about what happened. Not even the noise would wake Judy up since she started taking pills to sleep.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks mom." Quinn said when Judy gave her a mug. She decided to go with strong coffee this morning. The breakfast was awkward since her relationship with Judy was still fragile, but she didn't even notice what was going on around her, she was too deep in her thoughts to care.

"I'm going to my room, I have some homework to do." She said before going to her room again.

When she was safely inside, her phone started to ring. She rolled her eyes and was already prepared to turn her phone off to not be disturbed when she saw the unknown number on her screen. The same that used to text her, her curiosity took the best of her and she accepted the call.

"Hello?" She asked unsure. The person on the other side of the line was quiet for a few seconds and she looked at her phone's screen to see if the call wasn't disconnected.

"_Quinn?_" The person said after a few seconds.

"Yes, who is it?"

"_It's me... Rachel._" Quinn's heart stopped and it seemed like her stomach was doing back flips. Wait, if Rachel was the one calling her form this number then she...

"So you are the creep who was texting me some time ago?" Her voice was cold, distant. She couldn't handle this right now.

"_Yes... It seemed the only way to get you to talk to me at all. I'm sorry about that but... Why did you text me this morning? I thought it was pretty clear by now that you don't stand me._" Quinn noticed that the brunette's voice was different... Tired.

"I don't have an answer to that question..." Quinn knew she had to lie in order to make Rachel give up.

"_Don't lie to me, Quinn. I've already had enough of your lies._" Rachel said sounding annoyed. "_In fact, if you don't want to answer me, fine. I really called to tell you that you have two different ways to treat me and it's time you choose which one you want._"

Quinn was kind of shocked and taken aback by Rachel's behavior so she remained quiet.

"_I'm tired of the way you've been treating me since we met. Sometimes you are actually nice to me and I think that we can have a friendship but then suddenly you are treating me horribly again. That other day you told me about your feelings towards me but in the next day you acted like you didn't say anything at all, no in fact, you acted worse than ever. It's time for you to think about your actions and the people you are affecting, I'm suffering in your hands for years now! I won't take it anymore. So you have to choose for once and all if you rather want to stay the cold bitch that I know it's not you or your sweet, silly and dork self with me._" When Rachel was done, she took a deep breath and waited for Quinn's answer. By the time Rachel stopped talking, Quinn was almost sobbing. Every word hit her like a brick and she couldn't keep everything inside.

"_Quinn? Did you hang up on me?_" After what seemed like hours, Quinn found her voice again.

"Help me... Please." Her voice was almost a whisper and her throat was thick of crying. Rachel noticed the difference in her tone and gave up on her hard approach.

"_Yes, Quinn. Of course, I can help you. What do you need help with?_" Rachel's tone now was calm, which made Quinn calm down a bit too.

"With everything... I don't know how to cope with my feelings, so I treat badly the people I most care about... I need someone who has patience with me, who help me go through all the drama in my life but no one thinks I'm worth the fight..." Quinn's voice still was almost like a whisper and Rachel had to glue the phone to her ear to be able to not miss a single word.

"_I will help you, Quinn. I'm trying to help you since the day we met but you were too buried inside your own head to notice, you were too stubborn to see what was right in front of your face._"

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I don't hate you, Rachel. I l – " Quinn's eyes widened and she stopped mid-sentence. No, it was too soon to use the word love, no, she couldn't. Rachel knew what Quinn was going to say and her heart started beating fast but she chose to ignore what Quinn was going to say for Quinn's own good.

"_I don't hate you either! And... Do you want to go out one of those days so we can talk properly?_" Rachel's sounded insecure with her question and Quinn noticed it and a small smile made it's way on her lips.

"Yeah... That would be... Great."

"_Good! So... Did you make it fine to your house yesterday?_" Rachel carefully asked, the last night was still a really fragile thing to talk about.

Quinn took a deep breath and tears was already burning behind her eyes. If she wanted to start any kind of relationship with Rachel, she had to be honest.

"I need to tell you something... I have to be honest with you and this thing is eating me alive... I..." She took a deep breath. " I slept with Alice." After that being said, she closed her eyes and held her breath, this was way too hard for her.

Rachel felt like she was going to throw up, her chest was getting heavier and tears was starting to slid down her face. But this could be Quinn's way of saying that they actually _slept_ together.

"W– What do you mean, Quinn?" Her voice was shaking.

"That I... I... Ugh, I had sex with her." She was feeling worse than when she woke up, the guilt was huge inside of her.

"_Oh..._" Was all Rachel could say. She was speechless, only Quinn could manage to leave her this way.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel... So sorry..." Quinn whispered, and tears was sliding down her face for what seemed the 100th time oh that day.

"_You don't have any reason to apologize, Quinn... I... I think we have a lot to talk about now. And I don't think I can by phone. Later I text you so then we can see where and when we can meet up, okay? I have to practice ballet now. Bye Quinn."_

"Bye, Rachel..." And after that she noticed that Rachel had hang up.

Quinn was exhausted emotionally and she needed to listen to music to try to relax and sleep. She grabbed her iPod, connected to her speakers, crawled in bed and put the iPod on shuffle and she would laugh if she wasn't too broken to do so. The only way was to let the song filled her room.

_I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart. You came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start. You put your arms around me and i believe that it's easier for you to let me go. You put your arms me and I'm home. How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around? I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown._ When the song reached this part, Quinn was crying softly. This song said so much things she knew she wasn't capable of saying... At least for now. _I hope that you see right through my walls, I hope that you catch me 'cause I'm already falling. I'll never let our love get so close. The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved. I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone._ She started singing along as if her life depended on this song. "I've tried my best to never let you in, to see the truth. And I've never opened up, I've never truly love 'til you." She kept singing the chorus until she fell asleep.

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><p>On her bedroom Rachel was freaking out, first because Quinn had sex with that girl! She doesn't even know how she feels about Quinn and then she had this bomb dropped over her. And second... <em>Finn<em>. She really forgot about him all day, and apparently he neither because he didn't call her. What will she do about him? The first person she thought about was Puck, so she decided to show up in his house.

She knocked on his door a couple of times before he opened it.

"Hi, Rach!" He said hugging her. It was rare the times where Puck would hug her like a truly friend but it was worth to not have everybody witnessing it.

"Hello, Noah. I came to your house to thank for helping me at the night of your party. I know you said to call you at the morning and it would be fine but that action asked more than just a phone call and I was busy this morning resolving some things." She said in one breath and waited for his answer.

"It's cool, Rach. Do you want to come in?" He asked a little awkwardly because he wasn't used to people coming by to thank him, most of times it was to blame him for something.

"Actually, I will accept your offer. I really need to talk to you about something important."

"Am I in trouble?" He asked concerned and thinking about his last actions to see if there were a reason.

"No, in fact, I am the one in trouble and I really need your help." She looked deep in his eyes and he knew that it was something serious.

After they were sitting in the living room – since Puck's mom was still at work – she took a deep breath before telling him everything.

"There is no easy way to say what I have to tell you so... Quinn is in love with me." She said looking at the floor and then she looked up after some seconds of silence to see Puck with his mouth opened.

"Holy crap! That's really hot Rachel!" Rachel glared at him and he immediately tried to reformulate his words. "Oh, I'm sorry! I mean, that's shocking because you know Q had all that shit about celibacy club and I thought she was straight... But thinking about it, she never really enjoyed our make out sessions nor Sam's nor Finn's in act."

"Noah, that's not why I came here, I know all of those facts. I need your help because I'm feeling something for her... I don't know what is yet but I know it's not friendship. I'm bisexual so this would be normal for me, but it's _Quinn_! And then there's Finn too" I don't know what I'm doing!" She was already on the verge of tears. Everything just felt so complicated! Why was everything so hard for her? When she finally can have everything she always dreamed of, she sees that something is wrong there.

"No, don't cry, okay? Let's see... Have you talked to her already? About your feelings, I mean."

"No, we talked this morning and agreed to meet up those days to talk about everything and clear some things..." Rachel said getting calmer again.

"Okay, so that part is cool because you girls can talk about feelings and all that crap, now let's move on to Finn."

Rachel almost winced when she heard his name again, this was way too complicated even for her and she is Rachel Berry, for God's sake! The girl who took slushies all her high school, who didn't have friends until senior year, the girl who has two gay dads and live in a small conservative town!

"Yes. What am I going to do about him? I can't act this way behind his back, talk to Quinn and everything while pretending to be good with him."

"I know... I think you guys should take a break from each other. Just while you are resolving things with Quinn, you know? So then you won't feel guilt and he won't feel like you are betraying him." Puck made it seem so easy that she wasn't believing that it would actually work, she knew Finn liked her on his own way and he wouldn't take this break nicely and it will be even worse when she tells him is because of Quinn.

"But I can't tell him the truth! So I'll be already betraying his trust!" She said pacing on the living room and throwing her arms above her head.

"You can tell him is because of some Broadway shit, like some thing you have to do in order to be able to go to NYADA or else you won't focus there. He won't know what you are talking about anyway so he will buy whatever you say to him about things he doesn't understand, trust me..." He said smiling at the end. He could see how hard this all was for Rachel but he couldn't exactly say that he was surprised, he always knew something was going on between those too because come on, they were eye sexing all the freaking time! And always talking about each other like an obsession or something. So as soon as they are happy with each other – most people may not see but Puck cares about Quinn and Rachel – they could even start to make out in public and this was an image that made Puck looking forward for that!

After talking about some other things, Rachel went back home feeling like some of the weight has been lifted from her shoulders. But she still had a lot to do and she was sure she would have to talk to her dad about the other night when he found her crying on the bathroom floor. She has being avoiding the subject when she was with him because she had to make things less complicated before telling her dad why she was having a breaking down.

She went to her room and typed on her phone.

**[21:56] Finn, can we meet tomorrow? It's important.**

She hit send and changed for bed but not before sending another text.

**[22:10] Goodnight, Quinn.**

She turned the lights off and after some minutes she fell asleep while on her night stand her phone buzzed with two new texts.

[22:30] Cool.

_[22:32] Goodnight, Rach._


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **As I promised, here it's the update! This first week was a bit slow so I was able to post, but I don't know it will be from now on. I'm in the last year of school, so I have to focus to get in a college.

Thank you for all feedback and reviews are really important to keep me reading more for you, whether you liked or not the chapter, leave me a review if you can, Okay?

Enjoy!

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><p>Her head was spinning due to how fast her life was changing. Yes, it's been almost three months since it really started changing but it was already enough to make her nervous. The last time she let things happen when she was not ready, she ended up pregnant, homeless, without anyone by her side aside from Mercedes, then having to give up her baby for adoption, being on the Cheerios, leaving the Cheerios, losing Prom Queen, dying her hair pink, everything in her whole life happened so fast that made her losing her mind but it seemed like everything in her life was meant to happen at this speed. In three months she realized how in love she is with Rachel, got rejected , flirted with a girl she met at a Starbucks, slept with said girl and started talking to Rachel again.<p>

Now she is with this envelope on her hands thinking so much about her past that she became too afraid to know how her future will be and because of this fear she didn't think twice before changing her clothes and driving to an address she knew like the back of her hand. When she reached the house was the moment she really realized what she was doing. Could she knock on this door after everything that happened? But it wasn't the moment to back off, it would be pathetic to drive all the way over there just to turn around and go back home. She knew she couldn't open this envelope by herself, she had to have some motivation and help to do so.

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><p>She ringed the doorbell and her heart started beating fast, her trembling hands were sweaty which could wet the envelope and this would be more than embarrassing for a Fabray. She was almost convinced that no one would open the door when a tall, black man appeared on the door.<p>

"G- Good afternoon, Mr. Berry." She struggled to get the words out of her mouth. And of course she had to stutter, it's not like things were already bad enough to her.

"Hello, young lady." Leroy said trying to remember from where he knew that pretty blonde girl.

"I'm Quinn." She swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. That was the time. "Quinn Fabray." Her voice cracking at the end.

She saw realization drown on the man's face and it made her stomach turn into a knot.

"Oh..." His face hardened. "What can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if Rachel is home... I -" She has never been so nervous in her life and she was feeling like throwing up. "I, uhm... I have an important thing to tell her." She finished as calmly as she could. She was feeling threatened by Rachel's father.

"Yes, she is upstairs. Come in." He gestured for her to enter the house. When she did, he put a hand on her shoulder and she turned immediately. "If you do something to my child, you'll never put a foot on this house ever again, do you understand?" She felt the blood draining from her face. He squeezed her shoulder lightly when she didn't answer.

"Y- Yes. Of... Of course, sir." Her legs were shaking, they seemed like they were going to give up at any second and she would fall.

Leroy entered the kitchen and gestured to the stairs at the end of the hallway.

Quinn's heart was pounding in her ears while she was climbing the stairs. When she reached the top, she felt a little lost, this part of the house was different from the last time she went there on summer – when Rachel's dads weren't there –. Then she became to hear a soft voice coming from the end of the hallway, she lightly smiled before following the sound.

When she reached Rachel's bedroom, the door was a bit open and the light from the room was illuminating a tiny part of the hallway. The crack on the door was enough fro Quinn to see what was happening on one part of the room. She could see Rachel lightly swaying to even if there wasn't any song playing while folding some clothes to put on her drawers. She felt her heart swell inside her chest at the sight. Rachel was with her hair tied in a loose ponytail with her bangs falling above her eyes, she was wearing a black ruffle skirt and a white tank top that was tight enough to be able to show the shape of her small breasts and her toned stomach. Quinn never noticed the brunette's abs before and she was mesmerized by them. Her arms, finally free from any piece of clothing and again Quinn noticed for the first time the diva's toned arms, they weren't very muscular but definitely they weren't just normal either. Every time Rachel moved them, her muscles would contract and show how toned they were. She wasn't wearing shoes and that made her look even smaller despite her long legs, which made her even more adorable. Her singing voice wasn't her usual one, it was softer and almost angelic, it was filling the room but not due to how powerful it was or due to her high pitched notes but due to her peaceful tone.

Quinn wondered why Rachel didn't sing like that in front of the glee club, but that was when she realized that this was a side of the brunette that only a few people – if they were lucky enough – was able to see, she thinks that the only way to be appreciated was by rubbing her talent on their faces, her Broadway self. This made Quinn's heart tighten and her eyes fill with tears because she was the main reason Rachel felt that way. She decided to just stop her thoughts for a moment to take in the song Rachel was singing.

The song was romantically sad but not in the way Rachel's songs use to be. It was not a about big gestures, powerful emotions and heartbreak. Quinn didn't know the song but it certainly wasn't one that she would think Rachel knew either. Quinn's insides was warm and in that moment she feel even harder for the girl inside that room.

Quinn listened to the song a little more, then she realized how creepy Rachel's dad would think she is if he saw her like that. She took a deep breath before lightly knocking on the door. Rachel didn't seem to have listened to it because she carried on with her singing, Quinn stepped into the room carefully to nor scare Rachel and cleared her throat lightly. Rachel jumped higher than anyone would bet she could and the shirt that was on her hands went flying across the room.

"Jesus, Quinn!" Rachel said with a hand on her chest. Quinn laughed before saying anything.

"Sorry, Rachel. I didn't mean to scare you but you were so into your song that you didn't hear me knocking on your door." She giggled a bit more.

Rachel reached for glass of water on her nightstand to calm down her breathing and race heart.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asked worried after seeing how much it affected the small girl. She didn't think she would freak out.

"Yes, I just need to calm down a bit." Rachel said sitting on her bed. Quinn stood awkwardly near the door, she didn't know what to do next. After some minutes Rachel spoke.

"Quinn?" She said to catch Quinn's attention, the blonde was looking anywhere but to her. "Quinn?" She tried again. The blonde finally looked at her. "You are in my room for almost ten minutes and didn't say why you are here." She gave her a small smile.

"Sorry, I... Sorry." Quinn said ducking her head and fidgeting with the envelope. At that moment Rachel saw what Quinn had on her hands.

"No need for apologies! What's this?" She asked carefully gesturing to the envelope. Quinn was so lost in her thoughts and nervousness that she completely forgot about the envelope and why she was there in the first place.

"Oh, yeah, this. That's actually why I am here." Rachel waited but Quinn didn't say anything more.

"And...? Quinn, you are starting to worry me. Is everything okay?" She got on her feet and took a few steps towards Quinn.

"Yes, everything is fine... I guess. This is my, uhm... My Yale letter." She smiled nervously. It was worse than she thought it would be, to be alone with Rachel on the diva's room, mainly when Rachel was wearing those clothes that showed so much.

Rachel's mouth formed an O shape and she couldn't keep the excitement inside.

"Oh my God! What does it say? Did you get in? Oh, of course you did! Do you need help to pay? Did your mother kicked you out again? That's why you are here?" Rachel said everything in one single breath and wide eyes.

"What? No! No! I still haven't even open the letter yet, actually." Quinn's cheeks were bright red.

"Why not?" Rachel frowned in confusion.

"I couldn't, I panicked and I thought maybe you... I..." She took a shaky breath. "I thought maybe you could help me. "She stared at the wall behind Rachel.

"Oh... That's... That's really flattering, Quinn. Of course I can help you! So, let's open this envelope, shall we? She took some more steps towards Quinn and carefully took the envelope from Quinn's hand. "Can I?" She asked to make sure. Quinn nodded, her heart was pounding in every part of her body, she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to breath. She was too afraid to receive a "no", what if she weren't good enough? She couldn't bare another rejection on her life.

Rachel sensed Quinn's nervousness and after opening the envelope, she softly took Quinn's hand and held it tightly, reassuring the blonde that she was there with her no matter what. Quinn's heart exploded and stopped beating altogether when she felt Rachel's soft and small hand wrapped around hers and she suddenly became very aware of the diva's thumb gently caressing the back of her hand, Rachel's perfume was the same from the last time she smelled it so closely, her breath caught in her throat and she felt those stupid butterflies on her stomach.

"W- What does it say?" Quinn asked biting her lip and tightening her hold on Rachel's hand.

"You got in." Rachel said it slowly " You got in!" She said brightly, jumping up and down.

Before Quinn could process what Rachel said, she felt the brunette throwing herself at her and those tiny hands on the back of her shoulders squeezing her tight. She wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist and she felt Rachel squeezing her tighter, they bodies were pressed fully against each other and they fit just right. Rachel's warm breath was tickling her neck and she felt a wave of happiness and accomplishment she has never felt before. She had a beautiful future ahead and right at that moment, she had Rachel in her arms. A wide grin almost split her face in half.

The hug was lasting longer than a friendly one would normally last but they didn't seemed to not care, they were lost in each other. Quinn's hands that were stilled on the brunette's back at the beginning, were now caressing it, Rachel's hand started traveling up to Quinn's neck and through her hair. When Rachel lightly ran her nails down Quinn's neck, the blonde felt a wave of heat between her legs and she let out a shaky breath while squeezing Rachel's sides. Rachel shivered and did it over and over again until a song filled the room breaking them apart.

Quinn reached for her phone in her pocket.

"Sorry..." She said before picking up the call. "Hello?"

While Quinn was on the phone, Rachel took the time to take a deep breath to calm down her burning insides. Listening to Quinn's breaths against her ear made her stomach all the way down and settle much lower. She stood there biting her lip and waiting for Quinn who was staring deeply into her eyes.

"Bye." Quinn said ending the call. "I'm sorry, it was my mom." She said looking at the floor.

"No problem, so... Yale, yay! Congratulations, Quinn! I always knew you would make it!" Rachel said brightly and desperate to have something to talk about to distract her from her thoughts.

"Yeah... Yes, you always told me that. So, I guess we are both going to New York, huh?" Quinn smiled sheepishly.

Yes, we are! And NYADA is only a couple of hours away from Yale, so you won't be able to get away from me!" Rachel clapped excited. "If... If you want me to visit you or the other way around, of course." She bit her lip nervously.

Quinn looked deep into those gorgeous brown eyes which at that moment were shinning with hope but still being very self-conscious and she knew she couldn't live without looking into those eyes.

"I would love to have your company in New York, Rach." Rachel smiled wider than she ever saw the brunette smiling, she had her cheeks a little bit pink and she was staring at Quinn with a weird expression.

"What?" Quinn asked with her browns frowned in confusion but still smiling.

"You just called me Rach..." She said biting her lip and looking at Quinn through her eyeslashes.

"Oh..." Quinn cheeks flushed red. "Yes, I did... Rach." she said more firm.

"I like how the nickname sounds when you say it..." Rachel said without realizing what she just said. "I mean, not tha– not that I don't like how it sounds when someone calls me like that. Finn call me like that all the time, so of course I would –"

"So, what was the song you were singing when I arrived?" Quinn asked changing the subject, she couldn't stand listen to Rachel talking about that T-Rex.

"It's called I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab For Cutie." Rachel grinned.

"Well, I wouldn't ever guess that you listened to those stuff." Quinn said a little surprised. She has already listened to some of the band's songs so she really wasn't expecting that.

"I know, you all think that I only listen to show tunes, but I don't. I have a side of me that I don't show around because I don't trust people enough to let them see." She said a little bitterly.

Quinn felt her stomach do a back flip and she couldn't stay there knowing that she is the reason why Rachel stopped trusting herself and people around her.

"I – I should get going. My mom already called telling me she is waiting me for dinner. So, I see you around, Rach... Thanks for today, I wouldn't be able to go through it if it weren't for you." She said nervously.

"It's what friends do, right?" Rachel's cheeks went a lightly red and she smiled.

"Yes, it is..." Quinn couldn't help the disappointment in her voice. She didn't want to be just friends, she couldn't just be friends. Rachel didn't fail to notice the disappointment in Quinn's voice and suddenly the room was heavy with tension.

"We talk later then, Quinn. I'm really happy and proud of you." She gave Quinn a brief hug. The blonde smiled and turn around to go home.

* * *

><p>Rachel sat on her bed thinking about everything that happened in her room. When Quinn got home, she told her mom the news and they did a little celebration, when she went to her bedroom and changed into her pajamas before going to bed, she felt her phone vibrating on her nightstand.<p>

**[20:30] I'm sorry, Quinn.**

Quinn knew exactly why Rachel was sorry, she knew the brunette felt how affected she was by what Rachel said. She got affected by the part Rachel said about having another side that only trusted people got to see and the only friends one.

_[20:32] Don't worry, Rach. But now I think we really need to talk._

The reply came a minute after.

**[20:33] I know. We can meet up somewhere this weekend if it's okay for you. I have ballet class in the mornings but after that I'm free.**

Quinn smiled at the ballet part.

_[20:35] Can it be Sunday? I have some things to do on Saturday._

**[20:36] Yes, it's better for me this way. I have some things to do Saturday too, complicated things.**

Quinn stared at her phone in confusion but decided to not question it.

_[20:37] We talk about the details this week them. I have to call San, we talk later. Goodnight for later, Rach._

**[20:38] Have a goodnight, Quinn :)**

Now they only had to wait three more days until they could properly talk. And Rachel had two more days to put a break on her relationship with Finn.


End file.
